Friday, October 30, 2009

Drum Roll Please!

I have some Exciting! News! Internets.... I have already started my Christmas shopping! This is huge, huge, huge for moi. (I usually start Black Friday.... and hate myself for it.) And yet, I already have some things put away, simply in need of wrapping and tagging. I rock.

On a few other levels, I don't RAWK. As in, I cancelled the 80's Halloween Par-tay. Cause, meh, I wasn't feeling it people. Although I still have an AWESOME! poster of Ferris Bueller.

And also, I suck because I don't do ANYTHING anymore. All I do is lay around and sleep.... Of course that may be attributed to the fact that I have gotten mahself all knocked up and such (And I am pretty sure the baby daddy is my husband, Whew!)

Yes, You heard it here, I am 'specting. :) HoOoOoOoOoOray!!!

You want to hear all the juicy details, you say? Sure no problem!!

I did a home preggo test on September 14th, which was 5 days before AF. But, you know, I had the feeeeeeeeling. And BAM! two pink lines! So, like, holy crap, I have known since mid-September and have kept it from you! Yes, I am a whore.

Had tons of blood work and testing done, which leads to the fact that I am on Progesterone Suppositories (Yes, they are As! Much! Fun! As! They! Sound!) Also, they are the devil. I already look pregnant. I am 10 weeks along. Progesterone = The Devil.

Had our first sonogram at 8 weeks, 1 baby, all is well. We are HAPPY! And we are trying to stay POSITIVE!!!! And we are PRAYING all goes well!!!

Of course, I have nausea all day, every day, which is reassuring. As well as horrible. Which makes me a waste of space. Totally. I am the queen of Dry-Heaving and Gagging. Who is Sex-ay? This girl!!

So please, internet friends, keep your fingers crossed that we make it out of the woods. All I want is to be a Mommy... (Or make out with Brad Pitt. Put I would prefer being a Mommy) Until next time, please spay and neuter your pets. Thankskbye.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Public Service Announcement: FALL IS HERE!!!

I am taking time out of doing my happy dance to let everyone know: FALL IS HERE!!! Hip-Hip-Hooray!! If only it lasted more than two weeks, my life would be complete!

And also, next weekend will mark Husband and I's 1st Anniversary (And.... He is not dead yet!!!!) What will we be doing to celebrate this momentous occasion? Why, I will be attending a Baby Shower and he will be fishing a tournament. And that is how we have succeeded in being SO FULL OF THE HAPPY.... by doing our own thing. Lol. Cause sometimes? I would rather be alone with a good book than in a boat with him and the dog. It keeps us sane.

Also on our agenda? Bringin' Back the 80's Halloween Party! So far, I have done nothing to get ready for this EXCEPT buy a Ferris Bueller's Day Off poster. Which, personally, I feel is a really good start to a successful party. Now, where did I put my legwarmers?!?!?!?

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Did that REALLY just happen?!?!?

I Just want to quickly post a little window into my daily life. This happened last night:

Me: Babe, how many pairs of boxers did you pack for the trip?

Hubby: 5, why?

Me: Wellll, we will be gone for 8 days, soooo you prolly need to pack more.


Me: So you are going to wear dirty underwear at the beach?!?!?

Hubby: Maybe I will not wear ANY underwear.

Me: Gross.

At this point, hubby walked out and slammed a bunch of doors. He then slept on the couch. This morning, after almost being late for work, he conceded that perhaps he will need a few more pairs of boxers. Mission Accomplished. :)

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Moment of Silence

First and foremost, this country has lost a great icon. I was one of the biggest fans. That amazing icon will be sorely missed. Please join me in a moment of silence to mourn the loss..... of Boston Market. Ladies and gentlemen, this is a sad time for my husband and I.

Moooving on.... What has 2 thumbs and leaves for the beach on Friday? This girl!! What also has 2 thumbs and is hopped up on vicodin cause she has a bad tooth? This girl! Of course I have a toothache. Because I? Am going out of town for a week. Why would I not have a toothache? Gah!

So, of course I am super busy with getting ready for vacation, and more good news!! Jay informed me his family is coming to stay with us for a week, 2 days after we get home!! (And 1 day after I get my tooth pulled!) How lucky is that?!?! Don't get me wrong, I love Jay's family, especially Pete and Carrie, who are staying with us, but the timing BLOWS! So now I am not only doing laundry and trying to pack, but also scrubbing showers, cleaning restrooms and stripping bed linens. The fun never stops here. And then my awesome husband informs me 2 days ago, it is not just his cousin and wife..... But their 3 kids as well. I hope my head dosen't 'splode. Cause seriously?

I am also currently planning a Bridal Shower and Bacholorette Party, as well as attending another one, we have a wedding reception coming up, I am in a wedding in October, as well as attending another one that same month. Not to mention all the birthdays, deck-sitting and BBQ's still on our agenda.... which leaves barely any time.....for baby makin'

Which we are getting ready to start doing. We took an extra couple months, just to settle in, and prepare. Which, we really prepared nothing, but it sounds good when you tell people that. So maybe? We are just afraid it will happen again, so we are stalling. And also? With all this shower/ bachlorette party/ and wedding business, who wants to be knocked up? (This is my mantra when the negative test stares me in the face.) So I guess we are half-assed trying. But what with all the vicodin at this time, baby makin' is on hiatus. So... yeah.

Also, a parting thought.... Halloween is on a Saturday this year.... and my husband and I are holding a PARTY..... And just like P. Diddy's WHITE PARTY, you must adhere to the strict dress code, or you will be turned away.... We will be hosting.... an 80's HALLOWEEN PARTY!! (I hope someone dresses up at ALF)

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

I'm surrounded by Idiots!

Kristen has been sent to "The Big City" full of "The Crazy People" for a week for work. While there, she had to conduct interviews with another supervisor. This was the highlight of her week. Keep in mind: These interviews are to fill a janitorial position in a factory. We're not looking for Mensa candidates people (Because, Gah! We could barely find people to clean toilets.... but there were plenty of Welfare Candidates.....


"Do you have reliable transportation?"
"Yeah... I have a 1993 Ford Escort. That baby purrs..." (I don't know how we did not squirt pop out of our noses for this response.)

"We are strict on our attendance policy. Do you have a problem with getting to work?"
"You know, I 'm not gonna lie..... I miss a good bit of work...when I have a job."

"Do you have a problem with drug or alcohol abuse?"
"No. Well, not really. I mean, I got a DUI 2 years ago, but it's no problem now. I go to meetings and stuff."

"When could you start work?"
"Why not today?"
"Well, last year I attended Janitorial School, and I would like to go over all my notes and study before my first day of work."
(Really? Cause we need you to take out trash and clean some toilets..... Oh, and the same kid who said #1, also said this. I would bet a paycheck he's never been laid.)

"Are you going to show up for work everyday?"
"You see, you wake up every morning and you ask yourself 'Is you going to work, or is you not going?' and some days you is going. And some days, well, you is not going..."

Amazingly, we did find a few people who actually wanted to work... and nothing squirted out of our noses during the interviewing process. I will not get into the guy who would not answer questions and had a huge stack of papers with a bunch of writing on them. Our guess was he stumbled into the wrong room and was instead looking for an open mic night. Or the woman who came in with a shirt that left nothing to the imagination. Or even the guy who came to an interview in flip flops, cut offs and a beer shirt. Really? I can't wait to get back home with my hillbilly friends and my husband and dog.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Work, Shmerk.

Right now? I should totally be working. Like, driving to a job site, putting my time in working. And yet? Here I am. Why? Because I know I have been neglecting you, dear internets, and I apoligize.

So, I have decided to throw caution to the wind, and blog during work. Also, the boss is gone for the day, and I am about done. But, not the point!

Our summer is turning into on scheduled outing after another. My baby sister graduated from high school this past Sunday (Big tear), and general summer fun is already starting to happen.

We went to visit our good friends who live out of town a few weekends ago, and as I was showing off the ring Jay bought me, my girlfriend said "Wait a minute, that is my ring." We have the same exact ring, for the same exact reason. She was due in March, me in October. After having realized that, she decided we should hold hands all night, because obviously, we are soulmates. (Drinking may have been occuring as well.)

I have spent 3,000 hours weeding flower beds, have gotten sun burnt twice already, and have finally admitted I have allergies. Oh, and also I was able to sneak away from my husband on lawn care day, and trim the hedges. I tried making a swan, but somehow ended up with a misshapen ball of brown pine needles. I blame the hedge trimmers. My husband blames me. Whatev.

We have also started our traditional deck sitting. The Offical Kick-Off is next Friday, so we have just been "Pre-Season Deck Sitting". Our BBQ rotation is also shaping up nicely. This summer is already packed with things to do! It is wonderful to have such great friends and neighbors.

It is also great to have neighbors who still speak to you after your German Shepard tries to eat their dog. Cause that totally happened this weekend as well. To Sydney's defense....the dog was in our yard, Syd was tied up, and, according to Sydney, the dog was giving her "The Stank Eye". She is on probation. Little dog had to visit the vet for a few stitches, but has hopefully learned to stay in her own yard and pick on someone her own size.

Oooookay, now? I really do have to go do something. We discussed the baby making project, and have decided to wait another month or two. We are trying to get set financially, as well as emotionally. Also, I am trying to get healthy, and fixing my back is a priority. So hopefully in a few months we will be successful, but for now, we are enjoying our Newlyweddedness (Totally a word, shut it) and summer.

Don't forget to spay or neuter your animals. Seacrest, out.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Sunny Days and Shexy Hair

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnd.......................I'm Back!!!

It's been a pretty busy month, and I wish I could say that it was full of the Funny! but, not so much. But I was told by my Hair-Doer that I MUST update, therefore.... Here I am. And I got nothing, people.

Husband is away for a week long fishing trip (Can I get an Amen Brothers and Sisters!) and I have the E-N-T-I-R-E bed all to Mahself.

What else has happened? I got new Blonde-y hair. I actually got to sit outside with the neighbors already. I tried to propose marriage to my back-cracker. Cause God, do I looove him. And I am working insane amounts of time.

I dropped my dog off over at Grandma and Pap's (That would be my parents, and P.S.? They love when I talk about their grand-dog. They are trying to have me committed. Whatev.) Anyway, Doghead is living it up this week with my sisters dog Gracie-Butt. I can only imagine they are staying up late giggling and talking about boys. (Okay, maybe my parents have a reason for wanting me committed..)

I really wish I had something amazing, and witty to say. I went to the OB, everything looks okay, we can try again in 2 cycles... blah blah blah. My husband bought me a beautiful ring for Easter with October's birthstone in it to remember the baby we lost. It makes me feel good to have something that signifies our loss. Our life is going on, and getting easier, but I still fall down some days.

Our group of friends has decided to make our own fun this year, and have a summer to remember. Currently, I believe we are working on a BBQ rotation, and Deck Sitting Season will officially kick off soon. Here's to warm weather, and sunshine.

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd.... I'm Out!!

P.S. Please keep my good friend Crystal in your thoughts for the next few weeks. Her 3 year old daughter had a mole removed for biopsy today and will not get the results back for 1 to 2 weeks. Miss Buggy is too cute for words, so please pray that all is well. Thank you.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Word Vomit and Lady Bits

I go to the OB for my 2 week follow-up in the morning. Fully expect terrible news, and am willing to show off my lady bits to anyone who will a.) look and b.) give me a reason why I can't carry a baby past 7 weeks. If this means the janitor, I am fine with that... I have my good days and bad, bad being can't stop crying (And P.S.? I hate to cry, so of course when these days happen? Am Annoyed.) A good day would be not feeling like I was just punched in the stomach. And the always present people who word vomit and think they are being helpful? Awesome for the healing process. Like this convo I had at a graduation party on Saturday:

Drunk Moron: Wow! 2 miscarriages, huh?

Moi: Um, yes.

DM: That is really rough? What are you doing?

Moi: Doing? Um, just trying to stay positive...

DM: No, I mean doing wrong? I never had a miscarriage...

Moi: Oh, right. Doing wrong. Perhaps it was all the recreational drugs I was doing?
Then, I thought about neck punching her. Cause, I totally think I deserve to neck punch her. Actually, I think that I would be doing the human race a favor if I neck punch her.

In other news, my dog has decided she LOVES! POPCORN!! But if mommy gives her popcorn, daddy yells at both of us. So mommy is trying to teach Sydney to Chew! With! Her! Mouth! Closed! So far? Colossal FAIL. But Mmmm...... is popcorn good.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

No one said it would be easy...

I guess I should explain what happened.... more because I need to than that anyone wants to know...

So I went to the ER on Saturday, with a tiny bit of blood and a really bad feeling. The ER experience was terrible. My husband saw the sonogram tech type No Heart Tone and down he went. Passed out.... twice. They thought he was going to have a seizure. And there I stood, already scared, while they put him in a separate room and ran an IV and put him on a heart monitor. Then the ER doctor came in, told me "Yes, Miscarriage" and handed me a paper that informed me that when I naturally passed everything, to collect it, put it in a bowl and put it in the fridge until I see the doctor... That would be about the time I LOST IT. Because no. Is it not terrible enough that you lost the baby, but then to be asked to do that. I am a strong person, and I am dealing with this, but that was over the top.

So I left there not knowing how or why, and also was one Hot Mess. (Husband is okay. Low Potassium, and vasovagal response, which I also have, so we know how to deal with it.)

I cried until I didn't think I had anymore tears left. Big, heart broken sobs that I could not control. I was in shock. The doctor had said miscarriage, but then the ill-informed nurse told me that I should just keep hoping and praying that the baby would hold on. It was a roller coaster ride. They refused to schedule a D&C, they wanted me to miscarry naturally.

On Monday I called my wonderful doctor, explained the situation and was seen ASAP. He did more blood work to confirm a non-viable pregnancy, talked to us, and answered questions. I only measured about 6/7 weeks on the sonogram. I should have been almost 10. He also promised to run tests to see if there were any problems we could fix. I knew the outlook was not good at all, but I actually felt better when we left. The dr. was kind, and not only spent time with us, but was concerned enough to ask how we were both doing emotionally and if we needed anything. I am happy he is being proactive and testing now so it will hopefully not happen again.

I heard back from the OB office this morning. My levels have dropped, and it is non-viable. I go in for a D&C tomorrow (Wednesday) morning. Then, hopefully, the healing process can begin, and we can have more questions answered. No one told us this would be easy, but I was prepared for a battle to become pregnant, not to stay pregnant. We knew it would be uphill, we just didn't realize it would hurt so much.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Went to the E.R. on Saturday.
(Something did not feel right)

No Heartbeat.

Miscarriage #2.

Friday, February 27, 2009

I have a girl crush....

So, Wednesday I went to the OB for the first time. I actually did not even meet with the doctor yet, just the nurses, whom I now have a crush on. Especially one. Her name is Denise. And she is super snarky, like moi. So I heart her.

She actually gave me a "freebie" ultrasound, so I would "Stop Whining". All looked good, and there is only one peanut in there. I am measuring a little off. I thought I was about 7 weeks, but I only measured 6w1d. I am told this is nothing to Freak! Out! Over!* Of course, I had to do all the normal** stuff as well. Like peeing in a cup, answering tons of questions (Am already a bad mom cause I don't have a peds Dr yet) and they took like 4 liters of blood.

I would post the ultrasound pic, but it is on the kitchen table, and I am parked on the couch, and Gah! That is soooo far away. Yes, I still suck at life. Sleeping is my favorite and it is still being interrupted by my stupid bladder. And don't get me started about my lack of a #2.... Pregnancy in the first trimester is NOT SEXY. My poor husband. First Trimester + Strep Throat = Unsexiness cubed.

Other than that, I go back to the OB on March 26th, and I should be about 10 weeks by then. Fingers Crossed. My boobs are huge-r than normal, and hurt way much bad. Like, if I move too fast I leave them behind, and that hurts like the devil. Am Whining. Am bitter. Am not going to stop for *Hopefully* 8 more months. :) Due date at this point is still October 11, 2009. Which, of course it is, because I am the Matron of Honor in Neighbor's Wedding, on October 17th. Baby is already f-ing up shop. Sounds like Baby will be a drama queen, like it's mother. (I would prefer not to have a little boy drama queen...)

In other news, Hooray for rain, and sun and warm weather. I will take anything other than snow. I now cry over ANYthing. Which is messy, since it is stupid things, like Adoption Stories, and Bass Master Tournaments and Oh! My! God! My little sister is graduating in May and Boo! Hoo! Hoo!!!! I am a train wreck. At least I am not crying over the weather now.

* Of course, I am still Freaking! Out! cause that is just how I roll. Cause if I had nothing to obsess over, what would I do?!?!?
**Anyone who knows me will understand that at times, I may not be aware of what is normal in certain instances, especially in college....

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Who's Idea Was This Pregnancy Thing?!?!?!?

What is more fun, dear Internets, than having morning sickness that lasts all day??

Why, morning sickness that lasts all day with a big heaping side dish of Strep! Throat! Awesomeness.

I go to the OB tomorrow, and will update again then. Hopefully, it will be good news, since I am pretty sick all the damn time. Until then, lots of fluids, rest and antibiotics. WooHoo! At least I got the day off work, but only because my Boss/Dad informed me "I don't want you here!!!"

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Did anyone really think that I would be pleasant??

Hello Internets. Since dropping the "Big News" on you, I have been living my life, one day at a time. Of course, having just had a miscarriage, I am very concerned with losing this baby as well, so I am even More! Psycho! than is normal. My poor husband. Having said that, things seem to be going well.... Mostly.

The biggest problem coming at 5am this morning... When my body revolted against me, and made me Wake! Up! and Pee! at that ungodly hour. Then I couldn't go back to sleep! Do you KNOW how much I love to sleep?? I am fabulous at it. Like, all-star sleeper. And I could not go back to bed. Am pissed at pregnant body for betraying me so early on. What next?? Boob stretch marks at 10 weeks?

Other than that seemingly innocent situation, and other than feeling like I am going to Throw Up Right Now, all the time, things are okay. My mood swings are not bad yet, which is amazing, since they were wicked pre-pregnancy. My only other complaint is the tiredness. I would hear other women complain about it and I was all "Suck it up, how bad can it be?!?!" Now.... I am all "Honey, can you pull the car from the drive-way up on the porch, cause ten feet is way too far to walk....." So basically I suck at life. But, I am not lazy, cause hello?!?!? I am busy making a human being right now, what have YOU done lately??

Please keep baby in your thoughts. Although the doctor has told me my chances of carrying to term are "excellent" I am still a bundle of nerves. The miscarriage shook me up, and now every twinge or pain I am running to the bathroom. I am hoping to get through this next 6 weeks so I can relax.... And am trying not to kill anyone. Especially people who serve my food, because what the crap took so long?!?!? I am hungry!!!

Saturday, February 14, 2009

May I print a retraction??

Dear 2009,

I would like to thank you for your prompt attention to my previous letter. I do appreciate the change of heart. I also understand that sometimes we just have a crappy day, or week, etc, and just want to take it out on SOMEone, so we do. Now, perhaps I am just being a little too forgiving, and you are still just a whore... But... I think that some whores are good people, once you get past the crotch-less underwear and STD's. Therefore, I want to thank you for stopping your whore-ery, and again include some examples.

Exhibit A: My husband has been very doting lately, and also remembered Valentine's Day. Am impressed.

Exhibit B: We came into a bit of extra money that was unexpected and are now both breathing a bit easier.

Exhibit C: My good friend Jennepper gave birth to a healthy baby girl on Valentine's Day. Welcome Olivia!!

So it seems that there are good things happening now. And they are appreciated. Of course, winning the lottery would also be greatly appreciated, if you can swing it. Am just saying.... I do see that you are still throwing about unnecessary drama about. My other neighbor's grandpa died. So you are still a whore. Maybe just a high-priced "classy" call girl now.

Again, Kthankxbye

In other news.....this happened as well.....

Yes, I kept this from the internets for over a week. We went to the doctor yesterday and everything looked good. I am 5w6d today. We go to the OB on the 25th. So please pray that 2009 won't start her whore-ery again.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

A Letter to 2009

Dear 2009,

I am writing this from one responsible adult to another in hopes of avoiding anymore "situations". Thus far, I feel you have been a real whore. Now I understand we are a mere month into you, yet already not only me, but loved ones as well as "the internets" have had some very trying times. If you don't mind, I would like to review, so you may attest to the whore-ery you have been inflicting.

Exhibit A: Was pregnant. Am no longer. You're a whore.

Exhibit B: Best friend from High School took her own life a few days ago and left behind 2 young children. You're a whore.

Exhibit C: Husband's work has already laid off, and may do so again, as well as my work having major cutbacks. (Yes, I work for family. No, that does not mean my job is easy, or guarenteed) So, again, you're a whore.

Exhibit D: Patiently awaiting my period. Not coming. Yet feel cramp-y and in general, Am a Bitch. Not getting my hopes up sooo......Yeah, you guessed it. You're a whore.

The list could go on, about how my dog suddenly must Lick! My! Socks! before I can get them on my feet, or that my husband has No! Dishwashing! Skills! but I feel that I must just ask to stop being all teenage angsty, and Get Over It. Please, from now on, be kind to my loved ones, be it family or internets. You're immedaite attention to this matter will be appreciated.


Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Myspace: The New Forum for Controversial Adult Issues!!

Yesterday, I deleted someone from Myspace. I probably feel way more guilty than is normal, or even necessary. But... You know me. Always so kind and sentimental. (From the girl who usually complains about cuddling after sex, cause Just Let Me Sleep Now! Gah!!!) Anyway, the reason for the deletion?? Because I finally realized that said friend, is a close-minded, holier than thou, immature idiot. (No Kristen, Tell me how you REALLY feel)

I have been "friends" with said idiot for several years. Childhood, school friends. Now, I am aware that everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Yes, mine is the RIGHT opinion, but to each their own. (For anyone overly sensitive, that, my friends, is Sarcasm. Learn it, love it.) I do not approve, nor appreciate anything political and/or religious crammed down my throat. I have my beliefs, and those best suit me. You have yours. I do not lecture people on my beliefs, or even why I feel they are wrong in their beliefs. Okay, enough of the crap. Let's get to the reason said friend was deleted.

About a year ago, "friend" posted a Myspace Bulletin (Because that is obviously the correct forum for anything remotely serious/important/controversial) on Partial Birth Abortions. With! Pictures! No matter what your point of view is on abortions, is a Myspace Bulletin with graphic pictures necessary, or going to change any one's opinion?? (To clarify, I am ProChoice. I have very real beliefs, and respect everyone else's) So basically, said "friend" took her personal belief, and posted it on a public forum, a very inappropriate (At least, I think) forum.

So 2 or 3 days ago, she has posted another equally close-minded bulletin. This one?? Political. And again, to each their own. My husband and I voted for different candidates. I felt his choice was not the correct one. He felt the same about mine. We survived, with little to no Major! Election! Issues! ( I called him dumb, He called me dumb...and we were spent.) So I sign on to Myspace, and see a new Bulletin from the friend entitled "The Silver Lining to Having Obama in the White House". I was hoping for a funny post (i.e. Full Sentences Now, Not making up words....) But instead I was disgusted at the content. The gist is that Republicans as a whole, can see the silver lining because...Wait for it.... White People No Longer Have To Feel Guilty.

Wha?!?!?!? Yes, so not only has she made an asshat out of herself, for posting this, but to Republicans everywhere. My husband does not feel this way, nor does several of my friends with the same view. I, of course, am appalled. I am democrat, fairly liberal (Shocker, no?) and not racist. I feel this presidency SHOULD NOT be made into a race issue. Yet people like this, continue to do just that. Therefore, I am venting. If you hate this new president , that is your choice. But never have I told anyone they are WRONG in their beliefs. I do not agree with much organized religion, and consider myself Agnostic. Not Atheist, but agnostic. But my beliefs do not change who I am. I will always be sarcastic and bitchy, if I was democrat or republican, black or white. So tell me, am I the one who is wrong? Did I take this the wrong way, and make more out of it than I should have? Or do people like her need to know that posting content like that is not appreciated??

Okay, I am working 12 hour days all week, and am exhausted. I have another post to do, one with cute! toddler! pictures! about our weekend we babysat our friends 16 month old daughter. (Our dog is Not A Fan of Baby Cuteness!) Until then, Remember to Spay or Neuter your Dog or Cat. Kthanksbye.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Top 10 Reasons Kristen Hates Ohio in January

#10 It is snowing....Again. Seriously?

#9 Our dog insists on running through every snow drift in the yard, and we own an acre of land. At 7am, this is NOT A GOOD TIME. She then buries her nose and flings snow at me. Again, NOT A GOOD TIME.

#8 Of the two people living in the house with opposable thumbs, neither one enjoys shoveling the sidewalks. Therefore, it does not get done. Meaning you must ice-skate to your car.

#7 I refuse to buy snow boots. (Unless they have Rainbow Brite on them and change colors when they get cold, cause those? Are full of The Awesome. Hello child of the 80's!!) So when I must go outside I either have to A.) Roll up my pants so they do not get wet or B.) Walk on my tippy-toes and still get a shit ton of snow in my shoes. Soggy Socks + 20 Degree Weather = Kristen full of the Pissed Off.

#6 Because ANY plans you have made prior to ten minutes before you must leave for said plans, WILL BE FOILED. No matter what the event or where it takes place a freak snow/ice/acid rain/shit storm will blow in and make traveling treacherous. And if you are able to get out of your drive-way, you will promptly rocket off the side of the road into an abyss.

#5 As soon as our meteorologist declares a potential for snow, there is no milk or bread left at the one store with-in a 20 minute radius. Which sucks, because ALL I WANTED WAS TOMATO SOUP AND GRILLED CHEESE. I don't care if we are getting 2 inches of snow. Great, enough to make a footprint. I just wanted soup and grilled cheese. But the couple in line in front of me has bought 8 gallons of milk and enough bread to fill a walk in freezer. Idiots.

#4 No matter how wicked bad it gets, I still must work. I work because other people call off because it is too bad to get to work. I am the one who gets sent to do 2 jobs at once cause it is a Level 3 outside. This job has many great moments. This would not be one of them.

#3 After we take our tree down, the house just looks so.....Normal. And it is such a bummer to not have to worry about the dog knocking the tree over, or the cats climbing in it, or my husband setting it on fire. It is proof that all the Holiday! Fun! is now over, and we must return to work like responsible adults.

#2 My new car (Which is a 2006, so fairly new, I guess) does not have ABS (Anti-lock Brakes) Which would not be the end of the world...If all the vehicles I had previously owned had been the same way. But they were not. So, I must re-learn how to drive in snow every winter because I never remember that I don't have ABS until I am sliding down a windy road with drop offs on both sides and begin to fishtail........ Not to mention the fact that the car just does not go well in snow. It sucks. I had a 1999 Monte Carlo and that thing was like a tank. My Grand Prix? Not so much.

#1 I had to park my car halfway up my drive, SIDEWAYS, night before last. Cause that was all it was going. Our drive in concrete and on a pretty steep angle. So after sliding PAST the driveway once, I turned around and backed down the road to "get a run for it" ( I have lived here for many years, and our drive has always sucked. You learn these little things) So I baja into the drive, making the sharp turn at about 35mph. I go into the front yard, almost take out our picket fence, come precariously close to the back end of hubby's truck and end sideways in the drive. What did I do? Engaged the E-brake and left it. I quit!!!

Friday, January 9, 2009

It was the BEST of Holidays, It was the WORST of Holidays....

Again, sorry for the neglect. This time, I feel it was needed. Because, though I do not have a "following" no one wants to read woe is me. So I will wallow in my own self pity for a bit, then I will go back to being Sarcastic, Bitchy Kristen. Deal?

So, I found out that some people are just more in tune with my body than I am. Maybe cause I don't like my body much, I just seem to ignore it. Ignore the signs. Putting on weight? Eh, it's the holidays. Being bitchy? Eh, that is just me. Sleeping all the time? What can I say, sleeping is my favorite. And I was a week late.... But I have just been stressed..... Wait..... Could I really be.....

On December 31st, I did decide to take "The Test". And came back with "Are you shitting me, no way" Positive. The next 2 tests were positive as well. I was knocked up. You know, the girl who has decided she is not a "Baby Making Machine". Husband and I rejoiced. (As did neighbor, and immediate family) It was early on, we did not want to get too excited , BUT OH MY GOD WE'RE PREGNANT!!!

Unfortunately, we miscarried the following Sunday. Went to Dr. on Tuesday, and confirmed that we had been pregnant, but no longer were. Heart-break ensued. We had prepared ourselves for this. (As much as possible, which is easier said than done.) We are taking it one day at a time. We are looking at the positive. We got pregnant. We are able to conceive. That is a plus. It was such a big question mark before, but now we know.

So, even though this was crushing, we know it is possible. It blows, way bad, but there is a silver lining, right? So that is my woe is me tale of the best and worst holidays. Now, back to my normal dazzling self.

Christmas was great. Husband and I got to see all sides of our families, and spend time with each other. My parents bought us a wii, and much fishing ensued. (We ARE country folk. I also got Carhartt Bibs and Jacket from Husband. And Yes, I did ask for them!) Jay now knows why I cried/yelled every 2 hours in the week or so leading up to Christmas, and why I was so nasty and bitter the day Brother graduated. (Hello! I just needed food and sleeeeep!!)

After going through this I now know why I married Jay, and love him more than ever. He has been a rock, and I know, deep down inside, it has not been easy for him. We are dealing with this together. So I will try to remember that when I want to punch him in the face cause he is a COMPLETE IDIOT. We can't all be prefect, right?

I wish I had a super story full of The Awesome to balance out this teenage-angsty post, but it has been a fairly solemn past few days. And my mind does not recall what happened much before that. I suck. I know. But I can say that OMG, the psychic was TOTALLY right. Pregnancy by March, perhaps a loss of pregnancy. So I am of course planning on our first child being a girl, cause that IS what he said. Back to Baby Making. Apparently we are doing SOMETHING right.