Tuesday, June 16, 2009

I'm surrounded by Idiots!

Kristen has been sent to "The Big City" full of "The Crazy People" for a week for work. While there, she had to conduct interviews with another supervisor. This was the highlight of her week. Keep in mind: These interviews are to fill a janitorial position in a factory. We're not looking for Mensa candidates people (Because, Gah! We could barely find people to clean toilets.... but there were plenty of Welfare Candidates.....


"Do you have reliable transportation?"
"Yeah... I have a 1993 Ford Escort. That baby purrs..." (I don't know how we did not squirt pop out of our noses for this response.)

"We are strict on our attendance policy. Do you have a problem with getting to work?"
"You know, I 'm not gonna lie..... I miss a good bit of work...when I have a job."

"Do you have a problem with drug or alcohol abuse?"
"No. Well, not really. I mean, I got a DUI 2 years ago, but it's no problem now. I go to meetings and stuff."

"When could you start work?"
"Why not today?"
"Well, last year I attended Janitorial School, and I would like to go over all my notes and study before my first day of work."
(Really? Cause we need you to take out trash and clean some toilets..... Oh, and the same kid who said #1, also said this. I would bet a paycheck he's never been laid.)

"Are you going to show up for work everyday?"
"You see, you wake up every morning and you ask yourself 'Is you going to work, or is you not going?' and some days you is going. And some days, well, you is not going..."

Amazingly, we did find a few people who actually wanted to work... and nothing squirted out of our noses during the interviewing process. I will not get into the guy who would not answer questions and had a huge stack of papers with a bunch of writing on them. Our guess was he stumbled into the wrong room and was instead looking for an open mic night. Or the woman who came in with a shirt that left nothing to the imagination. Or even the guy who came to an interview in flip flops, cut offs and a beer shirt. Really? I can't wait to get back home with my hillbilly friends and my husband and dog.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Work, Shmerk.

Right now? I should totally be working. Like, driving to a job site, putting my time in working. And yet? Here I am. Why? Because I know I have been neglecting you, dear internets, and I apoligize.

So, I have decided to throw caution to the wind, and blog during work. Also, the boss is gone for the day, and I am about done. But, not the point!

Our summer is turning into on scheduled outing after another. My baby sister graduated from high school this past Sunday (Big tear), and general summer fun is already starting to happen.

We went to visit our good friends who live out of town a few weekends ago, and as I was showing off the ring Jay bought me, my girlfriend said "Wait a minute, that is my ring." We have the same exact ring, for the same exact reason. She was due in March, me in October. After having realized that, she decided we should hold hands all night, because obviously, we are soulmates. (Drinking may have been occuring as well.)

I have spent 3,000 hours weeding flower beds, have gotten sun burnt twice already, and have finally admitted I have allergies. Oh, and also I was able to sneak away from my husband on lawn care day, and trim the hedges. I tried making a swan, but somehow ended up with a misshapen ball of brown pine needles. I blame the hedge trimmers. My husband blames me. Whatev.

We have also started our traditional deck sitting. The Offical Kick-Off is next Friday, so we have just been "Pre-Season Deck Sitting". Our BBQ rotation is also shaping up nicely. This summer is already packed with things to do! It is wonderful to have such great friends and neighbors.

It is also great to have neighbors who still speak to you after your German Shepard tries to eat their dog. Cause that totally happened this weekend as well. To Sydney's defense....the dog was in our yard, Syd was tied up, and, according to Sydney, the dog was giving her "The Stank Eye". She is on probation. Little dog had to visit the vet for a few stitches, but has hopefully learned to stay in her own yard and pick on someone her own size.

Oooookay, now? I really do have to go do something. We discussed the baby making project, and have decided to wait another month or two. We are trying to get set financially, as well as emotionally. Also, I am trying to get healthy, and fixing my back is a priority. So hopefully in a few months we will be successful, but for now, we are enjoying our Newlyweddedness (Totally a word, shut it) and summer.

Don't forget to spay or neuter your animals. Seacrest, out.