Who's Idea Was This Pregnancy Thing?!?!?!?

What is more fun, dear Internets, than having morning sickness that lasts all day??

Why, morning sickness that lasts all day with a big heaping side dish of Strep! Throat! Awesomeness.

I go to the OB tomorrow, and will update again then. Hopefully, it will be good news, since I am pretty sick all the damn time. Until then, lots of fluids, rest and antibiotics. WooHoo! At least I got the day off work, but only because my Boss/Dad informed me "I don't want you here!!!"

Did anyone really think that I would be pleasant??

Hello Internets. Since dropping the "Big News" on you, I have been living my life, one day at a time. Of course, having just had a miscarriage, I am very concerned with losing this baby as well, so I am even More! Psycho! than is normal. My poor husband. Having said that, things seem to be going well.... Mostly.

The biggest problem coming at 5am this morning... When my body revolted against me, and made me Wake! Up! and Pee! at that ungodly hour. Then I couldn't go back to sleep! Do you KNOW how much I love to sleep?? I am fabulous at it. Like, all-star sleeper. And I could not go back to bed. Am pissed at pregnant body for betraying me so early on. What next?? Boob stretch marks at 10 weeks?

Other than that seemingly innocent situation, and other than feeling like I am going to Throw Up Right Now, all the time, things are okay. My mood swings are not bad yet, which is amazing, since they were wicked pre-pregnancy. My only other complaint is the tiredness. I would hear other women complain about it and I was all "Suck it up, how bad can it be?!?!" Now.... I am all "Honey, can you pull the car from the drive-way up on the porch, cause ten feet is way too far to walk....." So basically I suck at life. But, I am not lazy, cause hello?!?!? I am busy making a human being right now, what have YOU done lately??

Please keep baby in your thoughts. Although the doctor has told me my chances of carrying to term are "excellent" I am still a bundle of nerves. The miscarriage shook me up, and now every twinge or pain I am running to the bathroom. I am hoping to get through this next 6 weeks so I can relax.... And am trying not to kill anyone. Especially people who serve my food, because what the crap took so long?!?!? I am hungry!!!

May I print a retraction??

Dear 2009,

I would like to thank you for your prompt attention to my previous letter. I do appreciate the change of heart. I also understand that sometimes we just have a crappy day, or week, etc, and just want to take it out on SOMEone, so we do. Now, perhaps I am just being a little too forgiving, and you are still just a whore... But... I think that some whores are good people, once you get past the crotch-less underwear and STD's. Therefore, I want to thank you for stopping your whore-ery, and again include some examples.

Exhibit A: My husband has been very doting lately, and also remembered Valentine's Day. Am impressed.

Exhibit B: We came into a bit of extra money that was unexpected and are now both breathing a bit easier.

Exhibit C: My good friend Jennepper gave birth to a healthy baby girl on Valentine's Day. Welcome Olivia!!

So it seems that there are good things happening now. And they are appreciated. Of course, winning the lottery would also be greatly appreciated, if you can swing it. Am just saying.... I do see that you are still throwing about unnecessary drama about. My other neighbor's grandpa died. So you are still a whore. Maybe just a high-priced "classy" call girl now.

Again, Kthankxbye
Kristen


In other news.....this happened as well.....









Yes, I kept this from the internets for over a week. We went to the doctor yesterday and everything looked good. I am 5w6d today. We go to the OB on the 25th. So please pray that 2009 won't start her whore-ery again.

A Letter to 2009

Dear 2009,

I am writing this from one responsible adult to another in hopes of avoiding anymore "situations". Thus far, I feel you have been a real whore. Now I understand we are a mere month into you, yet already not only me, but loved ones as well as "the internets" have had some very trying times. If you don't mind, I would like to review, so you may attest to the whore-ery you have been inflicting.

Exhibit A: Was pregnant. Am no longer. You're a whore.

Exhibit B: Best friend from High School took her own life a few days ago and left behind 2 young children. You're a whore.

Exhibit C: Husband's work has already laid off, and may do so again, as well as my work having major cutbacks. (Yes, I work for family. No, that does not mean my job is easy, or guarenteed) So, again, you're a whore.

Exhibit D: Patiently awaiting my period. Not coming. Yet feel cramp-y and in general, Am a Bitch. Not getting my hopes up sooo......Yeah, you guessed it. You're a whore.

The list could go on, about how my dog suddenly must Lick! My! Socks! before I can get them on my feet, or that my husband has No! Dishwashing! Skills! but I feel that I must just ask to stop being all teenage angsty, and Get Over It. Please, from now on, be kind to my loved ones, be it family or internets. You're immedaite attention to this matter will be appreciated.

Kthanksbye
Kristen

Myspace: The New Forum for Controversial Adult Issues!!

Yesterday, I deleted someone from Myspace. I probably feel way more guilty than is normal, or even necessary. But... You know me. Always so kind and sentimental. (From the girl who usually complains about cuddling after sex, cause Just Let Me Sleep Now! Gah!!!) Anyway, the reason for the deletion?? Because I finally realized that said friend, is a close-minded, holier than thou, immature idiot. (No Kristen, Tell me how you REALLY feel)

I have been "friends" with said idiot for several years. Childhood, school friends. Now, I am aware that everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Yes, mine is the RIGHT opinion, but to each their own. (For anyone overly sensitive, that, my friends, is Sarcasm. Learn it, love it.) I do not approve, nor appreciate anything political and/or religious crammed down my throat. I have my beliefs, and those best suit me. You have yours. I do not lecture people on my beliefs, or even why I feel they are wrong in their beliefs. Okay, enough of the crap. Let's get to the reason said friend was deleted.

About a year ago, "friend" posted a Myspace Bulletin (Because that is obviously the correct forum for anything remotely serious/important/controversial) on Partial Birth Abortions. With! Pictures! No matter what your point of view is on abortions, is a Myspace Bulletin with graphic pictures necessary, or going to change any one's opinion?? (To clarify, I am ProChoice. I have very real beliefs, and respect everyone else's) So basically, said "friend" took her personal belief, and posted it on a public forum, a very inappropriate (At least, I think) forum.

So 2 or 3 days ago, she has posted another equally close-minded bulletin. This one?? Political. And again, to each their own. My husband and I voted for different candidates. I felt his choice was not the correct one. He felt the same about mine. We survived, with little to no Major! Election! Issues! ( I called him dumb, He called me dumb...and we were spent.) So I sign on to Myspace, and see a new Bulletin from the friend entitled "The Silver Lining to Having Obama in the White House". I was hoping for a funny post (i.e. Full Sentences Now, Not making up words....) But instead I was disgusted at the content. The gist is that Republicans as a whole, can see the silver lining because...Wait for it.... White People No Longer Have To Feel Guilty.

Wha?!?!?!? Yes, so not only has she made an asshat out of herself, for posting this, but to Republicans everywhere. My husband does not feel this way, nor does several of my friends with the same view. I, of course, am appalled. I am democrat, fairly liberal (Shocker, no?) and not racist. I feel this presidency SHOULD NOT be made into a race issue. Yet people like this, continue to do just that. Therefore, I am venting. If you hate this new president , that is your choice. But never have I told anyone they are WRONG in their beliefs. I do not agree with much organized religion, and consider myself Agnostic. Not Atheist, but agnostic. But my beliefs do not change who I am. I will always be sarcastic and bitchy, if I was democrat or republican, black or white. So tell me, am I the one who is wrong? Did I take this the wrong way, and make more out of it than I should have? Or do people like her need to know that posting content like that is not appreciated??

Okay, I am working 12 hour days all week, and am exhausted. I have another post to do, one with cute! toddler! pictures! about our weekend we babysat our friends 16 month old daughter. (Our dog is Not A Fan of Baby Cuteness!) Until then, Remember to Spay or Neuter your Dog or Cat. Kthanksbye.

Top 10 Reasons Kristen Hates Ohio in January

#10 It is snowing....Again. Seriously?

#9 Our dog insists on running through every snow drift in the yard, and we own an acre of land. At 7am, this is NOT A GOOD TIME. She then buries her nose and flings snow at me. Again, NOT A GOOD TIME.

#8 Of the two people living in the house with opposable thumbs, neither one enjoys shoveling the sidewalks. Therefore, it does not get done. Meaning you must ice-skate to your car.

#7 I refuse to buy snow boots. (Unless they have Rainbow Brite on them and change colors when they get cold, cause those? Are full of The Awesome. Hello child of the 80's!!) So when I must go outside I either have to A.) Roll up my pants so they do not get wet or B.) Walk on my tippy-toes and still get a shit ton of snow in my shoes. Soggy Socks + 20 Degree Weather = Kristen full of the Pissed Off.

#6 Because ANY plans you have made prior to ten minutes before you must leave for said plans, WILL BE FOILED. No matter what the event or where it takes place a freak snow/ice/acid rain/shit storm will blow in and make traveling treacherous. And if you are able to get out of your drive-way, you will promptly rocket off the side of the road into an abyss.

#5 As soon as our meteorologist declares a potential for snow, there is no milk or bread left at the one store with-in a 20 minute radius. Which sucks, because ALL I WANTED WAS TOMATO SOUP AND GRILLED CHEESE. I don't care if we are getting 2 inches of snow. Great, enough to make a footprint. I just wanted soup and grilled cheese. But the couple in line in front of me has bought 8 gallons of milk and enough bread to fill a walk in freezer. Idiots.

#4 No matter how wicked bad it gets, I still must work. I work because other people call off because it is too bad to get to work. I am the one who gets sent to do 2 jobs at once cause it is a Level 3 outside. This job has many great moments. This would not be one of them.

#3 After we take our tree down, the house just looks so.....Normal. And it is such a bummer to not have to worry about the dog knocking the tree over, or the cats climbing in it, or my husband setting it on fire. It is proof that all the Holiday! Fun! is now over, and we must return to work like responsible adults.

#2 My new car (Which is a 2006, so fairly new, I guess) does not have ABS (Anti-lock Brakes) Which would not be the end of the world...If all the vehicles I had previously owned had been the same way. But they were not. So, I must re-learn how to drive in snow every winter because I never remember that I don't have ABS until I am sliding down a windy road with drop offs on both sides and begin to fishtail........ Not to mention the fact that the car just does not go well in snow. It sucks. I had a 1999 Monte Carlo and that thing was like a tank. My Grand Prix? Not so much.

#1 I had to park my car halfway up my drive, SIDEWAYS, night before last. Cause that was all it was going. Our drive in concrete and on a pretty steep angle. So after sliding PAST the driveway once, I turned around and backed down the road to "get a run for it" ( I have lived here for many years, and our drive has always sucked. You learn these little things) So I baja into the drive, making the sharp turn at about 35mph. I go into the front yard, almost take out our picket fence, come precariously close to the back end of hubby's truck and end sideways in the drive. What did I do? Engaged the E-brake and left it. I quit!!!

It was the BEST of Holidays, It was the WORST of Holidays....

Again, sorry for the neglect. This time, I feel it was needed. Because, though I do not have a "following" no one wants to read woe is me. So I will wallow in my own self pity for a bit, then I will go back to being Sarcastic, Bitchy Kristen. Deal?

So, I found out that some people are just more in tune with my body than I am. Maybe cause I don't like my body much, I just seem to ignore it. Ignore the signs. Putting on weight? Eh, it's the holidays. Being bitchy? Eh, that is just me. Sleeping all the time? What can I say, sleeping is my favorite. And I was a week late.... But I have just been stressed..... Wait..... Could I really be.....

On December 31st, I did decide to take "The Test". And came back with "Are you shitting me, no way" Positive. The next 2 tests were positive as well. I was knocked up. You know, the girl who has decided she is not a "Baby Making Machine". Husband and I rejoiced. (As did neighbor, and immediate family) It was early on, we did not want to get too excited , BUT OH MY GOD WE'RE PREGNANT!!!

Unfortunately, we miscarried the following Sunday. Went to Dr. on Tuesday, and confirmed that we had been pregnant, but no longer were. Heart-break ensued. We had prepared ourselves for this. (As much as possible, which is easier said than done.) We are taking it one day at a time. We are looking at the positive. We got pregnant. We are able to conceive. That is a plus. It was such a big question mark before, but now we know.

So, even though this was crushing, we know it is possible. It blows, way bad, but there is a silver lining, right? So that is my woe is me tale of the best and worst holidays. Now, back to my normal dazzling self.

Christmas was great. Husband and I got to see all sides of our families, and spend time with each other. My parents bought us a wii, and much fishing ensued. (We ARE country folk. I also got Carhartt Bibs and Jacket from Husband. And Yes, I did ask for them!) Jay now knows why I cried/yelled every 2 hours in the week or so leading up to Christmas, and why I was so nasty and bitter the day Brother graduated. (Hello! I just needed food and sleeeeep!!)

After going through this I now know why I married Jay, and love him more than ever. He has been a rock, and I know, deep down inside, it has not been easy for him. We are dealing with this together. So I will try to remember that when I want to punch him in the face cause he is a COMPLETE IDIOT. We can't all be prefect, right?

I wish I had a super story full of The Awesome to balance out this teenage-angsty post, but it has been a fairly solemn past few days. And my mind does not recall what happened much before that. I suck. I know. But I can say that OMG, the psychic was TOTALLY right. Pregnancy by March, perhaps a loss of pregnancy. So I am of course planning on our first child being a girl, cause that IS what he said. Back to Baby Making. Apparently we are doing SOMETHING right.