Top 10 Reasons Kristen Hates Ohio in January

#10 It is snowing....Again. Seriously?

#9 Our dog insists on running through every snow drift in the yard, and we own an acre of land. At 7am, this is NOT A GOOD TIME. She then buries her nose and flings snow at me. Again, NOT A GOOD TIME.

#8 Of the two people living in the house with opposable thumbs, neither one enjoys shoveling the sidewalks. Therefore, it does not get done. Meaning you must ice-skate to your car.

#7 I refuse to buy snow boots. (Unless they have Rainbow Brite on them and change colors when they get cold, cause those? Are full of The Awesome. Hello child of the 80's!!) So when I must go outside I either have to A.) Roll up my pants so they do not get wet or B.) Walk on my tippy-toes and still get a shit ton of snow in my shoes. Soggy Socks + 20 Degree Weather = Kristen full of the Pissed Off.

#6 Because ANY plans you have made prior to ten minutes before you must leave for said plans, WILL BE FOILED. No matter what the event or where it takes place a freak snow/ice/acid rain/shit storm will blow in and make traveling treacherous. And if you are able to get out of your drive-way, you will promptly rocket off the side of the road into an abyss.

#5 As soon as our meteorologist declares a potential for snow, there is no milk or bread left at the one store with-in a 20 minute radius. Which sucks, because ALL I WANTED WAS TOMATO SOUP AND GRILLED CHEESE. I don't care if we are getting 2 inches of snow. Great, enough to make a footprint. I just wanted soup and grilled cheese. But the couple in line in front of me has bought 8 gallons of milk and enough bread to fill a walk in freezer. Idiots.

#4 No matter how wicked bad it gets, I still must work. I work because other people call off because it is too bad to get to work. I am the one who gets sent to do 2 jobs at once cause it is a Level 3 outside. This job has many great moments. This would not be one of them.

#3 After we take our tree down, the house just looks so.....Normal. And it is such a bummer to not have to worry about the dog knocking the tree over, or the cats climbing in it, or my husband setting it on fire. It is proof that all the Holiday! Fun! is now over, and we must return to work like responsible adults.

#2 My new car (Which is a 2006, so fairly new, I guess) does not have ABS (Anti-lock Brakes) Which would not be the end of the world...If all the vehicles I had previously owned had been the same way. But they were not. So, I must re-learn how to drive in snow every winter because I never remember that I don't have ABS until I am sliding down a windy road with drop offs on both sides and begin to fishtail........ Not to mention the fact that the car just does not go well in snow. It sucks. I had a 1999 Monte Carlo and that thing was like a tank. My Grand Prix? Not so much.

#1 I had to park my car halfway up my drive, SIDEWAYS, night before last. Cause that was all it was going. Our drive in concrete and on a pretty steep angle. So after sliding PAST the driveway once, I turned around and backed down the road to "get a run for it" ( I have lived here for many years, and our drive has always sucked. You learn these little things) So I baja into the drive, making the sharp turn at about 35mph. I go into the front yard, almost take out our picket fence, come precariously close to the back end of hubby's truck and end sideways in the drive. What did I do? Engaged the E-brake and left it. I quit!!!