It was the BEST of Holidays, It was the WORST of Holidays....

Again, sorry for the neglect. This time, I feel it was needed. Because, though I do not have a "following" no one wants to read woe is me. So I will wallow in my own self pity for a bit, then I will go back to being Sarcastic, Bitchy Kristen. Deal?

So, I found out that some people are just more in tune with my body than I am. Maybe cause I don't like my body much, I just seem to ignore it. Ignore the signs. Putting on weight? Eh, it's the holidays. Being bitchy? Eh, that is just me. Sleeping all the time? What can I say, sleeping is my favorite. And I was a week late.... But I have just been stressed..... Wait..... Could I really be.....

On December 31st, I did decide to take "The Test". And came back with "Are you shitting me, no way" Positive. The next 2 tests were positive as well. I was knocked up. You know, the girl who has decided she is not a "Baby Making Machine". Husband and I rejoiced. (As did neighbor, and immediate family) It was early on, we did not want to get too excited , BUT OH MY GOD WE'RE PREGNANT!!!

Unfortunately, we miscarried the following Sunday. Went to Dr. on Tuesday, and confirmed that we had been pregnant, but no longer were. Heart-break ensued. We had prepared ourselves for this. (As much as possible, which is easier said than done.) We are taking it one day at a time. We are looking at the positive. We got pregnant. We are able to conceive. That is a plus. It was such a big question mark before, but now we know.

So, even though this was crushing, we know it is possible. It blows, way bad, but there is a silver lining, right? So that is my woe is me tale of the best and worst holidays. Now, back to my normal dazzling self.

Christmas was great. Husband and I got to see all sides of our families, and spend time with each other. My parents bought us a wii, and much fishing ensued. (We ARE country folk. I also got Carhartt Bibs and Jacket from Husband. And Yes, I did ask for them!) Jay now knows why I cried/yelled every 2 hours in the week or so leading up to Christmas, and why I was so nasty and bitter the day Brother graduated. (Hello! I just needed food and sleeeeep!!)

After going through this I now know why I married Jay, and love him more than ever. He has been a rock, and I know, deep down inside, it has not been easy for him. We are dealing with this together. So I will try to remember that when I want to punch him in the face cause he is a COMPLETE IDIOT. We can't all be prefect, right?

I wish I had a super story full of The Awesome to balance out this teenage-angsty post, but it has been a fairly solemn past few days. And my mind does not recall what happened much before that. I suck. I know. But I can say that OMG, the psychic was TOTALLY right. Pregnancy by March, perhaps a loss of pregnancy. So I am of course planning on our first child being a girl, cause that IS what he said. Back to Baby Making. Apparently we are doing SOMETHING right.