Sunday, December 14, 2008

Happy Freaking Holidays.....

So yesterday was my only day off in 2 weeks. And I had to get up at the god awful hour of 6:45am. Why? Why would I do that? A better question is, Why would anyone, knowing how nasty I am, make me get up that early? Because my Brother In Law gradumatated from college yesterday. And college is 2 hours away. And the ceremony began at 10am. Ouchtown.

So I poured myself out of my nice, cozy, warm bed and into the shower. I proceeded to get dressed, then have a fit about my outfit (Cause I am fat-ish. Remember?) and put on something else. Get all ready. Hair fixed, clean underwear, the whole nine yards. Then sit around and wait on my husband. Cause apparently he is a girl and takes longer to get ready.... He comes down, and I gesture to my outfit and ask him "Well?" His romantic, newlywed answer? "Yeah, that will do." I told him to "Try again" So he tells me "Um, yeah, you look pwetty". This would be why I do not get dressed up often.

We make it to the campus (somehow ahead of my in-laws, who left before us...but that is a whole different bitch fest....) and find our nose-bleed seats. Chris was seated with the other graduates, and they called his name, so I guess he really did graduate.

We did some Christmas shopping. Why did we shop on a Saturday in a large town two-weeks before Christmas? Because we are morons. I hate the mall in December. People just get stupid, and rude (I am usually one of the rude people, but only after a group of 7 old ladies feel the need to stop in the middle of the aisle to catch up. MOVE!!!)

Anyway, my shopping is about 1/2 done, our Christmas tree (If you could call it that. Hubby went by himself as I was at work, and brought home a real Peanuts tree.) is up and decorated. Minus the tree topper, cause it will not fit. Not surprised. I am getting ready to go wrap gifts, with the help of my German Shepard puppy, I'm sure. She really tries to be involved in everything. She is hanging out with Daddy right now, or she would be helping me type right now. Very Helpful....

My neighbor has decided I am pregnant because I have been so nasty this past week. I informed her "No, I am just a Bitch". Sad but true. There was a lot of eye-rolling and tounge biting yesterday, but I did keep my cool and not kill anyone. That is good, right? I usually love Christmas, love buying gifts, and decorating, and, in general, giving. But this year? I am not feeling it. I don't know if I was so streesed before the wedding that I don't feel like doing anything or what. But I am a major Scrooge this year. Bah Humbug!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Wow Internets. I have been really sucking at life lately, and "too busy" to pay any attention to you. I never update you, or tell you your pretty, or take you out to dinner. My bad.

So anyway, with the holidays being in full swing, among other things I will mention shortly, my time has been swallowed up by unfun things, such as working and more working, and fun things, such as celebrating and baby making.

Thanksgiving and the surrounding days were uneventful. I ate too much, helped move my fiesty Grandma, and had several "food coma" instances. It was bliss, for the most part. My family gathered around to watch Jay and I's wedding DVD (We blew out the Unity Candle and the 30 seconds after we did it could probably win us $10,000 on America's Funniest Videos) and we mainly spent time with our families.

I was stupid enough to venture out on Black Friday, which I have no idea why. I am a person who very much appreciated PERSONAL SPACE. I like, nay, I love my personal space. I NEED it. People on Black Friday, aside from being completely crazed because they can buy a pair of slippers for two! whole! dollars! DO NOT respect personal space. And of course at every store I would have a "skirmish" or two with some idiot in public.

My point: Our first stop was, of course, WalMart. It was a WalMart in a large city, so it was packed. I am driving my mothers SUV. Parking spaces are only open in Scotland. I kindly drive to the front doors and tell my passengers to "Tuck and Roll! Bail Out! Go! Go! Go!" And I will meet them inside when I park this land yacht of an SUV (It is an Escalade. You should probably have a CDL to drive it.) I park in Scotland, grab my purse, and begin the long trek to the store. As I near the entrance, I see a prime parking spot. Front row! And there is a single buggy sitting in the middle of it. Now, as impossible as it may seem, I? Am not completely heartless. I grab the buggy, and do my good deed of the day, I start to wheel it to the buggy return. So now some little old lady can have a close parking spot....or some dumb bitch who slept in will get a prime spot. Whatev. As I am wheeling the buggy, this woman approaches me. My "Danger! Danger!" warning bell signals "Idiot on the loose!" She comes up to me and shoves her cart at me. I kindly say to her "Um, can I HELP you?" And she says, in her flannel pajama pants, slippers and greasy hair, with a cigarette hanging out the side of her mouth, "Yeah, take this one. Don't you work here or something?" I turn and walk away as she yells things at my back. I am wearing jeans, and a red hoodie. And CARRYING A PURSE. Take your own cart back you moron.

Other than that, it has been a pretty laid back kind of month. We are getting our tree tomorrow. My brother-in-law "Brother Chris" allegedly graduates from college on Saturday. My fabulous neighbor has gotten engaged and ask me to be her matron of honor. And I? Think the reason is because she saw how controlling I was during the planning of my wedding and decided to just give me the title to go along with it! We are half-assed timing our "baby-making" and figure whatever happens, happens. Perhaps we will be more anal about getting knocked up in the new year. My good friend from college, who is a fab blogger, has her baby shower coming up in January, and I am almost more excited about that than Christmas. Almost. (Sorry Jen!!!)

And now, I must go. The cats are yelling at each other, and my sweet 8 month old German Shepard puppy is probably eating something she shouldn't. My washer and dryer are buzzing, and I must get ready for work. When did we grow up? How did this happen?