Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Psychic or Doctor? I choose.....PSYCHIC!!

I went to the doctor today (for a second opinion of course. I am putting most, if not all of my stock into the psychic) for a routine check-up and the all clear on baby-making.

She switched my meds (Now on Zoloft instead of Wellbutrin, since it is much better to be taking if I should become pregnant....Yes, am crazy, but am medicated for it. ) and kept me on the metformin and also added prenatal vitamins. (She informed me she wanted to start me on them now, as is normal when women are trying to concieve....I zoned out after that cause I could think of was how awesome my hair and nails are going to look!!!)

Anyway, we did blood work (and she insisted she do a pregnancy test.... Am concerned doctor wants to dash my hopes early on) and talked about what to do and not to do when trying to get pregnant. Losing weight was not a shocker, but she also informed me that if I was doing any recreational drugs, I should stop. Really?? So that line of coke in your bathroom was a bad choice if I want to get knocked up? I am incredibly naive* but must wonder how many crackheads go to the doctor and ask how best to get pregnant. Perhaps I am the minority here.

So now I have started all my new meds, been taken off my wonderful painkillers for my back (sob) and have been given the green light for baby-making. She also told me I could buy the ovulation kits, to see when the best time to-ahem "baby-make" would be. But then informed me that being newlyweds and all "we may not want to make intercourse so clinical, so soon". Thank you for that. I will leave my turkey baster in the kitchen. I will have my results from blood work soon, hopefully showing everything is normal. Until then, we should "keep at it" and if we are not pregnant this time next year, we will look into why. Am I wrong to not want to wait that long to see if there is going to be a problem? Thank god the psychic said March, or I would have been really mad.

And so for now, we are going to enjoy married life. Like tonight we are going grocery shopping, then I am coming home to make bread. When did I get so old and sucky??

* So totally naive in fact, that I was attempting to be cool, and may have used the term "dime bag" in a sentence. My husband had to explain to me that not only do they not sell or use dime bags anymore, but it makes me look even more naive- if that is at all possible.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Insane....or Intiutive??

As you know, we are trying to concieve. It has not been a long road so far, nor a bumpy one. I am more worried about how difficult it is going to be. I want to know how to deal with my condition (PCOS), what precautions to take, and how to be proactive (What? No alcohol?!?) With these thoughts and issues in mind, I did what any normal, intelligent woman would do.

"You made an appointment with your doctor to discuss these questions, and see what the best route is?" you ask.

Silly human. Of course I would not do something as NORMAL and SMART as that.

I? Went to a psychic. Who else to better answer your questions of the future, than a guy that can SEE THE FUTURE?!?!?!? (You can laugh. My husband did, then called me a pagan...)

But yes, I went to see a psychic. And it was....cool. He touched on a lot of subjects that he really should not have known about. He pulled names out of thin air that had relavence and meaning. He knew my husbands name, and the age of Jay's niece and newphew. He ask who had a knee problem (my mom) and if I worked for my family (I do). He was right on about a lot of things, but I had already made the decision to see what he said, but it was all in fun.

We got the the "future" part of the session (Is that what it would be? A session? I gave a tattooed guy $20 to sit in Jessica's kitchen...) He explained that I would be pregnant by March, and we would have more than one. He explained that my first child would be a daughter. He also told me I would suffer a loss. As in loss of money, or friendship, but possibly of pregnancy.

As I said, it was cool. He knew a lot, or was really good at duping me. At one point he said "I see you living in a house your whole childhood, then leaving that house. But now, you are back at that house again." My husband and I bought the house I grew up in off my parents when they built a new house. Is that amazing? Or just a lucky break??

The one thing that the psychic did not tell me was that I was going to lock myself INSIDE Jessica's bathroom (No it really happened, and there were moments of panic...) I had to call her FROM THE BATHROOM, during the party, to have her assist. (Her house is older, and has some wicked doorknobs. Am not an idiot.) So I just wish, for the sake of my pride, he could have shared that little nugget of the future.

I think today, I will call the doctor to make that appointment. No pressure, right? I mean the psychic TOLD ME I was going to get pregnant in the next 6 months. I am SURE he does not just think that is the average time, and is leading me on.... Yeah, I am calling the doctor. As a back-up plan, of course....

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Will leave husband for Boston Market

I had to ask myself at about 9pm last night, are we really ready for kids?!?! (And by we, I mean my husband....)

We are both IN LOVE with Boston Market. As in I would have no problem with him banging the drive-thru girl if we get extra mashed potatoes...Anyway. Last night I am at work, and he is home (on his 7 days off. Who has a work schedule like that? Seriously.) and mention that Boston Market sounds good. He agrees, then says he will go get some and be home when I get home from work. Nice guy, right? Except Boston Market is an hour away. (I am thinking he may be the guy to have around if I get those crazy prego cravings, huh?) Ooookay. I let him go. He has the time, I want chicken and potatoes. No down side here.

I just get home from work, take the dog out, visit the neighbor, blah blah blah, my phone rings. It is husband. "Girlfreind, this is the best day EVER!!!" He screams.

I, of course, being of sound mind (usually) am a bit taken aback, for a few reasons.

Reason #1: We have just gotten married and went on a fabulous honeymoon. We had a great time. And that was not the best day ever.....

Reason #2: He is an AVID fisherman. Could fish for 7 days straight. He has won big tournaments, brought in good prize money, and caught "the big one". Yet, none of those were the best day ever....

Reason #3: I am dramatic, loud, offensive, bitchy (the list could go on, but I am merely proving a point.) He is the yin to my yang. Mellow, easygoing, quiet. Nothing gets him excited. Nothing. He could be on fire, and not care.

So when I get a phone call that "This was the best day EVER!!!", I am curious. I ask, why is that, dear?

His answer blows my mind.

"I pulled up to the drive-thru at Boston Market, and ordered the meal for 4 (Because I? Love Boston Market. Shut up with the Fat jokes. Asshat.) and that girl at the window, she told me that if I bought the meal for 4, she would give me A WHOLE SECOND CHICKEN FOR $1.99!!!!!

That is what got him sooo excited? Yes. He got a second chicken for $1.99. It is obviously the simple things in life that he appreciates. I could not bring myself to tell him that it was a daily special, and the window worker did not just think he was cute and cut him a deal. Poor guy.

He is so excited about his damn 2nd chicken, he had to hang up with me, because he almost rear-ended someone. So, if anyone almost had a truck in their trunk last night, it was my husband. Sorry. But he got a chicken FOR ONLY $1.99!!!! That gives you the right to drive like a douche...

Other than that amazingly stupid story, nothing happening on the homefront. I talked to my employer yesterday about wanting to start a family. (Any my employer? Is my father....Good times....) He tried to act all tough, then just about cried. (I think he needs medicated....the rest of my family is...Hooray for happy pills!!) Busy weekend ahead. I have no idea why we have 47 things going on every weekend, and yet we do. I think I may go take a nap now... ;)

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

You're not pregnant YET?!?!

Okay, let the fun (and baby-making!!) begin.

Jay and I are now married (Oct. 4, 2008) and have decided to begin trying to get pregnant as soon as possible. Of course, this is our "little secret". We really have not shouted it from the roof-tops.....and yet.... Already we are being asked about children. Really?!?!? We have been married 1 month today.

And I? Am probably not a baby-making machine. For several reasons. Reason one? I am fat-ish. Not like, can't climb a set of stairs, knock over things with my ass. But this fat girl only runs for one thing. And that is the Ice Cream truck.

Reason two? My family does not have an easy time with this whole baby-making process. Getting knocked up is not easy for us, not is the pregnancy.

And the third, and quite possibly biggest stumbling block. I have Poly-cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) which makes "getting and staying pregnant difficult". So I have already conditioned myself for worse-case senario. I am on my meds (Metformin) and have baby fever. But I also don't have pie in the sky hopes of informing the family at Christmas that we are expecting (But who knows? Jay's family procreates like rabbits....)

So this is the beginning of our journey, and we have no idea how long it will take, or how it will end. Already I have run into the questions about when we are having kids, and also the AWESOME advice people give such as "It happens when you least expect it", "Just don' t try and it will happen", and the best "If it is meant to be, it will happen". So thanks for all of that.

I have not dealt with the false hope, or failure, or even trying for a year with nothing, and already I am ready to punch someone in the weeiner and/or face for saying these stupid things. I have no idea how I will continue to deal with this if it is a struggle.

So, for now, Newlywed Sex!! and lots of it. (And we will be all relaxed about it, to see if that helps of course.....)